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This was from a prompt at First Class Kink that caught my eye. I hope you like it. Except for a few words which makes it PG and the usual angst along with self mutilation, this one is pretty calm.

Here is the prompt
Post-movie story:

The Divorce happened but after few weeks/months Erik came back to Charles. He feels guilty about crippling Xavier and tries to earn his (already-given) forgiveness. They're again close friends but they haven't got back yet to being lovers. Erik doesn't want to pressure Charles - and he's very relieved that his dear friend didn't stop being cheerful and full of optimism, that his disability hasn't changed his personality.

One day though Erik sees Charles legs; they look horrible, scarred, covered in bruises, crusts etc.
It turns out that Charles' optimism is just a facade; and that he hurts his "useless" legs when he's stressed, angry or depressed.

H/C please ;__;


It’s about 5775 words so I am putting it behind the cut.

Under_The_Surface )
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The next morning he sought Hank out. Out of all the people here, Hank was the one that could be trusted to keep a secret and keep the place in hand while Erik tried to help Charles. He explained to Hank what had been going on. While Hank had suspected something of that nature, he really didn’t have any proof and besides what could he really do against Charles’ abilities. They came up with a plan and Erik left with Azazel to get everything ready. Hank promised to keep an eye on Charles while he was gone.

Preparations took a day or so and Erik came back to the mansion. Charles was out on the patio enjoying the warmth of the fall afternoon sun. He seemed to be dozing.

“Charles” he said.

Charles’ head snapped around. “What are you doing here?” came the flat tone.

“Charles, I’m sorry but you are going to have to come with me.”

“What?”

Erik scooped Charles up out of his chair and Azazel popped in with military precision and bamfed them elsewhere. He then prompted bamfed before Charles could orient himself as to what was going on leaving Erik holding Charles on a beach. Charles pushed away hard from Erik tumbling into the soft sand. He flipped onto to his back and looked daggers at Erik.

“What have you done Erik? Where are we?”

“In reverse order, we are at Shaw’s secret island base and I have kidnapped you with the permission of your students.”

“You did what?”

“Charles, you are not well.”

Charles laughed a dry laugh and said, “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I want to help you.”

“Have you discovered that you have a new mutant power of time travel and you can go back and stop this from happening?” he gestured towards his legs. “Can your magnetic power allow me to walk again?”

“No.”

“Then how the hell are you going to help me Erik? You of all people should understand that some hurts go too deep for healing.”

“I don’t believe that of you.”

“You don’t?” Charles laughed a harsh laugh, “Oh, that’s a good one my friend. You grab me against my will and you are giving me a pep talk? About how everything is going to be all right? That I can overcome all this adversity just like I have been doing my whole bleeding life? I can make a difference! It that the talk you had in mind? Erik I can’t walk. I can’t stand up and greet a lady. I can’t decide to go somewhere on a whim. Everything in my life had become a production to just do the basics for human survival. I have one of the most powerful brains on the planet and I can’t fix this.” He said placing his hands on his legs and squeezing hard.

Erik knelt beside him and grabbed his hands “That my friend is your problem. You can’t fix everything Charles. But right now, we need to help fix you.” He scooped up the man from the sand and took him to the bungalow just off of the beach.
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That night the chessboard seemed to mock him at every turn. Every ploy he tried seemed to end in disaster.

“You seem distracted my friend.”

“Hmmmm?”

“Erik, your head is not in the game tonight. Is everything alright?”

Erik looked carefully at Charles judging the words he was going to speak next.

“Charles…” he started but couldn’t quite find the right words to say. He looked at the stones on the patio and the wheels of Charles’ chair and Charles’ very polished and unworn shoes. Then his attention was drawn to something that looked out of place. There were drops of something falling from the footrest of the wheelchair. He could sense the iron in the drops. ‘Blood’ he thought ‘That is blood.’

“Charles, you’re bleeding”

Erik could see Charles face go from passive to terrified and ashamed in seconds. He didn’t need to be a telepath to know that something was seriously wrong.

Charles fixed his face into a neutral visage. Erik recognized that face as not a good thing in his books.

Charles said very quietly in a rather dead tone “I think you should go now Erik.”

Erik took a hold of the metal in the chair and stopped Charles from leaving. “Charles, what is wrong?”

The look of rage on his friend’s face sent a chill down his spine. And he knew that Emma had done well to warn him. He was very glad that he had the helmet on because he knew in the core of his soul that Charles was not right. This was not the Charles he knew but some savage animal that had come out to play and it was not friendly at all.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” came the dead tone from his friend’s lips. “Do you really want to know? Or is this just some polite conversation to be had?”

“Charles” he had to tread carefully or someone was going to get hurt. “Charles that day on the beach in Cuba, what happened to you was unforgivable. Moria and I were not thinking just reacting. I didn’t want to see you in pain so I removed the bullet and that probably is why you can’t…”

Charles started to laugh hysterically. It was a cruel sound coming from his throat. “You think it was you that put me in the chair? No my friend it wasn’t Moria’s shooting or your gallant gesture to remove the metal from my spine although they did set up the circumstances of my crippling. No, it was my own damn pride that put me here. After you left, I tried to get up and in that action I damaged myself and made me the freak I am today. If I had just stayed there and not moved, then the damage would have been minimal but no I had to try to get back to my feet and in doing so will never feel my feet again.” He started pounding on his legs. “It’s my own fucking fault that I will never dance again or be able to climb a mountain or even just walk to the bathroom. My pride Erik, my pride is what took all this away from me.”

Erik grabbed Charles’ hands preventing him from hurting himself more. “Charles” he said in a loving tone as he tried to keep his friend in check. He grabbed him and held him close. Charles started to sob and put his arms around Erik. They stayed that way while Charles cried through his rage and anger. Erik just held him without comment. Eventually Charles, like a little child with a serious temper tantrum, got himself to the point that he passed out.

Erik wheeled him to his bedroom and picked him up and put him on the bed. He debated about his next move for a little while. Should he call Alex who was the designated Professor helper that night? Or should he just help Charles on his own? He decided to try to give Charles some dignity in all this. He removed Charles’ socks and shoes and then unbuckled the belt and started to get the pants off. He gasped at what he saw.

Charles had been punishing himself and it was not pretty. Erik was concerned that some of the scratches looked like they might possibly be infected from the coloration. The bruising and contusions were ghastly to look at. And then there were the scars which was evidence to Erik that this had been going on for a while. He got the pants off and carefully examined the extent of the damage. He was amazed that Charles hadn’t killed himself by this point.

“Oh Charles, I am so sorry. I am so so sorry. I didn’t know. How could I know? How could you hide this from me?”

He finished undressing Charles and went to the bathroom to get a damp washcloth so he could wipe away the blood before it soaked any further into the covers. He carefully washed his friend noting every wound and scar. He then dressed his friend in a good pair of pajamas and covered him with a quilt. He then grabbed a chair and sat next to Charles watching him trying to figure out how he could help his suffering friend.
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For a time Erik did not visit Charles. The last words out of his mouth had cut deep. Not all wounds are visible. Christmas passed into the New Year and Erik resisted the urge to see Charles but when spring arrived, He gave into the impulse. This time he sent a note to Charles to ask if he would care for a game of chess. Charles got the reply back to him through Emma who looked a little concerned.

“Did he play around in you head trying to grab information?”

“No, he has to be the most polite telepath on the planet but something felt wrong.”

“Trap wrong?”

She shook her head “Not that. I can’t really place my finger on it but be careful. All is not as it seems.”

Azazel brought him to the patio where he found Charles outside in the night air with the chessboard and drinks ready to go. There were some candles lit so they could see the board.

“It’s a nice night. I thought we might play out here if you don’t mind.”

“You are the host Charles” as he sat down across from Charles and they started to play. Erik found the silence a little uncomfortable but couldn’t figure out how to break the ice.

Charles shifted in his chair. “Erik, I am sorry for my parting shot last time. It was rude and uncalled for. I was not feeling quite myself.”

“I accept your apology Charles. Shall we agree to disagree in our methods but agree that we want to save our species?”

Charles nodded and everything felt better in the world. They tentatively went on to small chat about the world and politics which were changing rapidly. Charles speculated that eventually the Soviet Union was going collapse under its own weight. The game went swiftly until Azazel popped in to get Erik. They agreed to meet again same time next week and shook hands on the bargain.

That was the rest of the spring and most of the summer. There were misses due to either his or Charles’ adventures but they tried to keep the promise they made to each other.

Erik was getting ready to go see Charles when Emma knocked at his door.

“Come” he said.

She entered the room and flopped down on the couch. “Something is seriously wrong with your pet telepath.”

“Why Emma? Have I done something to offend you?”

She rolled her eyes and said “Not me you idiot. Charles. Something is very wrong with Charles.”

“What do you mean?”

She shifted on the couch a little uncomfortably.

“Emma” said Erik with an edge to his voice.

“It’s something I caught by accident when he gave me the time to meet. Have you talked about what happened on the beach?”

“No, we were both there. We can both see the aftermath of that day every time we meet.”

“Does he seem adjusted to what happened?”

“What a strange question. He is Charles Xavier. The only difference is that he is in a wheelchair. He is still the most optimistic bastard on the planet even after all that has happened.”

Emma said “I would look a little closer Magneto. I don’t think your friend is showing you his true face.”

And with that little puzzle, she exited the room. Leaving Erik wondering about his friend’s mental health.
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Erik returned the next night. This time he just had Azazel take him to the patio outside the study. Charles knew he was going to show up so why take the long way around. He glanced into the study and saw Hank and Charles having an argument about something. Charles was behind his very large wooden desk looking rather stern. Hank seemed agitated but was trying to make his point. Charles held up a hand and stopped Hank’s reply. He gestures outside and Hank turned and saw Erik. Hank crossed to the doors and opened them up.

“Erik” Hank said in a low rumbling voice “Charles is expecting you.”

Erik walked into the room “Nice to see you Hank.”

Hank gave him a half nodded and said in a very low voice “I am not sanguine about this at all but Charles is insisting that everything will be fine. But understand something, hurt him again and I will find you.” He showed a very toothy grin.

“Hank, that’s enough. I’ll call you if I need anything else this evening” Charles said while getting into position at the chess board. Hank turned and left the room but his body language said that he was not happy about the situation.

After the door closed Erik asked, “Is he your butler?”

Charles chuckled “No, the boys takes turns making sure I go to bed at a reasonable time and that I don’t need any help getting to bed.”

Erik hadn’t really thought about how difficult Charles’ life had probably become. The simplest thing probably takes much more time and effort without the use of his legs.

“Can you pour me a scotch neat and make yourself whatever you want? Ice is in the bucket.” Erik went to the liquor cabinet and pulled out the good scotch Charles always seem to have on hand. Then he found the materials for a martini and put himself together a drink. He handed Charles the scotch and sat down across from his at the chessboard.

Charles had out the good chess set. The pieces were ivory and the board was marble. Charles had told him that the set had been in his family for a number of generations. Erik liked this set. He liked the weight of the figures and the cool feel of the board.

They proceeded to play.

“Mystic sends her regards.”

“How is the dear girl?”

“Worried sick about you in fact. She misses you Charles.”

“And I her. If she wanted to come back, she can. This has been and will be her home.”

“I will tell her that.”

The game proceeded both on the board and in the conversation. Erik felt like Charles was being extremely careful in both his chess play and his chat. But he couldn’t fault Charles, he was doing the exact same thing.

They got about halfway through the game when Erik heard a tapping on the window.

“I think your ride is here” said Charles.

Erik turned and saw Azazel gesturing to him.

“Ah, well. Time passes and we must go on back to our jobs.”

“Is plotting to destroy a group of people a job these days? I thought that went out with Hitler.”

Erik looked angrily at Charles “That's rather uncalled for isn't it Charles? I am not destroying them and I am saving us. Good-bye Charles.”

He left with Azazel and a bitter taste in his mouth from what Charles said.
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From a prompt for the 5th round of the 1stClassKinkMeme
Post-movie story:

The Divorce happened but after few weeks/months Erik came back to Charles. He feels guilty about crippling Xavier and tries to earn his (already-given) forgiveness. They're again close friends but they haven't got back yet to being lovers. Erik doesn't want to pressure Charles - and he's very relieved that his dear friend didn't stop being cheerful and full of optimism, that his disability hasn't changed his personality.

One day though Erik sees Charles legs; they look horrible, scarred, covered in bruises, crusts etc.
It turns out that Charles' optimism is just a facade; and that he hurts his "useless" legs when he's stressed, angry or depressed.

H/C please ;__;


It was the chess that he missed the most. Or at least that is what he told himself. His minions were a fine bunch and Azazel turned out to be a chess master, but he missed the other part of the game, the conversation and comradely. He had to keep a distance from the others because he was the leader. He wondered if Charles was having the same problem.

He had gone to the hospital once to see Charles. He had seen him through the window since Charles pretty much had bodyguards 24/7 at the insistence of Agent MacTaggart. He had sent Mystic in to check on him as well. She came back rather upset. She had overheard two of the doctors discussing Charles’ case in low tones at the nurses’ station. He comforted her as she sobbed out the words spinal column trauma, nerve damage, little to no hope for his total recovery, can’t walk. The bullet had taken away more than he knew.

A niggling thought planted in his mind, Charles said that he did this to him. And his rash removal of the bullet could very well caused this trauma that Raven was sobbing about. But the bullet wouldn’t be there in the first place if Moria hadn’t been shooting at him so she shares the blame. He went back and forth in his mind on this.

When Azazel informed him that Charles had returned home, he made a decision to see Charles and apologize to him. He knew that it wouldn’t change anything physically for Charles but it might help them both. In his heart of hearts, he knew he was really being selfish but he didn’t really care.

Azazel popped up next to the garage with him, “This is the least defended entrance at this point. The Professor’s new rooms are on the ground floor towards the back of the house.” Erik oriented himself as to where he was and where he needed to go.

“Give me an hour and then come back for me.”

“I don’t like this Magento. Even with the helmet…”

“It is not your place to like or dislike Azazel.”

Azazel nodded and popped back out.

Erik dropped into stealth mode. This is where he felt the most alive when he was hunting for something. His senses sang and he could feel the metal in the house and in the ground calling to him. He slowly worked his way around the house only to find Charles out on the stone courtyard looking up at the clear winter sky. He stopped and watched Charles for a bit. He looked…well older and a little more world-weary. The wheelchair looked like something that Hank would design. It did Charles a little more height than a regular wheelchair but still the full picture of his friend in the chair hit him more than that he expected.

Then, much to his surprise, Charles seemed to look right at him. He touched his head to make sure that the helmet was still there.

“I know you are there Erik and it is getting rather cold” Charles said “if you want to talk, come inside to the study. It’s a bit warmer there.” He turned his chair and wheeling himself into the house.

He walked through the patio doors into Charles’ study “How did you know?”

Charles tapped the side of his head with two fingers “When I feel a void walking around my property, I am going to assume it is you until proven otherwise.” He grinned that disarming grin that Erik knew too well.

“Charles I’m…I’m so sorry. If I could change what happened you know I would.”

Charles held up his hand in the stop gesture, “Erik, it isn’t your fault or Moria’s fault. It was one of those stupid things that happen during the heat of battle.”

“How bad is it?” asked Erik, “Mystic couldn’t understand the whole chart and the conversation she heard was rather distressing.”

“So I was right. Raven was there a couple of times. Alex owns me a beer” he said with a light hearted chuckle. “I have to admit that the painkillers they gave me at the beginning kept me pretty loopy so I didn’t know if she was there or I was hallucinating.”

“Charles” Erik said carefully.

Charles nodded and said, “Well I can’t feel anything from about the mid-thigh down which is rather lucky all things considered. The trauma to the spine was such that the damage is pretty much assumed to be permanent. Could I ask you to sit down? I am rather tired of straining my neck to see you.”

Erik nodded and sat down in the chair that he had claimed as his during the chess matches in this room.

“Much better,” said Charles, “Do you have the time?” he asked gesturing to the chess board.

Erik looked at his watch. Azazel should be back in about 15 minutes at the garage, “Not tonight but if you wish I could come back tomorrow night and give you a game then.”

Charles smiled and nodded “I’ll see you then.”

Erik turned to leave and he heard Charles say, “Oh and Erik..”

“Yes, Charles?”

“You don’t need the helmet and it must be making a real mess of your hair. I promise that I will not play around in your head at all.”

“It’s not you I am concerned about” said Erik “But I will think about it.”

“Good night my friend.”

“Good night Charles.”

With that Erik left the study and found Azazel waiting for him next to the garage.

“How is he?” asked the Russian.

“He is Charles Xavier” said Erik right before they vanished from the property.
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The prompt from1st class kink Erik and Charles go through a truly horrific experience together (Captured together, tortured, whatever - up to you!) and are so traumatised by the memories that Charles can't bear Erik's suffering and wipes Erik's memory of the event. The only problem is that he can't do the same thing to his own memories and is stuck, with no-one who knows what they went through. Cue angst!

of course, Erik is bound to find out =D

can be AU with no beach scene or not, the erasure of memories can be with erik's consent or not, but I really want him to find out eventually. Whether he is furious or not is up to you.


I am putting this one behind the cut. With major warnings for non-consensual sex, torture, drug use, alcohol use and abuse, and very rough sex. This one is very dark and very fucked up.

Down_the )
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I was wrong. This resolved itself a little faster that I thought it would. I believe the story goes to the length it needs to be told and this one finished up.

So here is the conclusion

Consequences )
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This is the turning point of the piece. All things being equal I think this is going to be another 2 to 3 parts.

Rescue )
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OK we are about the half way point in this one. There are still the warnings in place about this fic.

Please remember that this is a work of fiction and even thought my mind can go to these strange places, this in no way reflects my current relationships.

Dark )
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The prompt from 1st class kink

Erik and Charles go through a truly horrific experience together (Captured together, tortured, whatever - up to you!) and are so traumatised by the memories that Charles can't bear Erik's suffering and wipes Erik's memory of the event. The only problem is that he can't do the same thing to his own memories and is stuck, with no-one who knows what they went through. Cue angst!

of course, Erik is bound to find out =D

can be AU with no beach scene or not, the erasure of memories can be with erik's consent or not, but I really want him to find out eventually. Whether he is furious or not is up to you.


I am putting this one behind the cut. With major warnings for non-consensual sex, torture, drug use, alcohol use and abuse, and very rough sex. This one is very dark and very fucked up.

Down_the_Dark_Rabbit_Hole )
cxellover: (Default)
The prompt from1st class kink

Erik and Charles go through a truly horrific experience together (Captured together, tortured, whatever - up to you!) and are so traumatised by the memories that Charles can't bear Erik's suffering and wipes Erik's memory of the event. The only problem is that he can't do the same thing to his own memories and is stuck, with no-one who knows what they went through. Cue angst!

of course, Erik is bound to find out =D

can be AU with no beach scene or not, the erasure of memories can be with erik's consent or not, but I really want him to find out eventually. Whether he is furious or not is up to you.


I am putting this one behind the cut. With major warnings for non-consensual sex, torture, drug use, alcohol use and abuse, and very rough sex. This one is very dark and very fucked up.

Down_the_Dark_Rabbit_Hole )
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From an 1stclass kink prompt


I don't know why, but I need a fic of Charles crying. And not just single-tear-of-manpain but full-on, hysterical, tears and snot everywhere sobbing.
It can be before the divorce, it can be after, it can be AU, whatever floats your boat. It doesn't matter what he is crying about either, I just need Charles sitting alone and sobbing and maybe Erik coming in and comforting him.


Charles’ head ached from all the thoughts swirling around him. Some were his and some were the people that currently inhabited the mansion. He had been keeping it together just barely. He thought getting out of the hospital would help but it was not the panacea that he wanted it to be. Sending Moria off did nothing to lighten his load if anything the burden was greater since he was the man in charge. The one that everyone depended on. And he was tired of having to be the responsible one. He knew he did it to himself at a very young age when he made his promise to Raven but it has been going on and on and now there were new people he had to take care of.

He was so angry and he had no where for his anger to go. Everyone else got to walk away from the beach relatively intact. Minor cuts and bruises and one broken arm for them. Except him. He didn’t get to walk away at all.

It was so fucking unfair. He was trying to do right and found himself now a cripple. Raven had once railed on him about the fact that his mutation couldn’t be seen. Well his mutation might not be seen but he was now a freak. A person to be pitied by all who see him.

He slammed his hand on the desk and felt the pain go through his arm. He pushed back from the desk and started to punch his useless legs. Nothing. He felt nothing but at the same time he felt everything. He tried to stand up hoping against hope that this time he could will his legs to work and fell forward onto the floor.

He tried to hold it in but the catch in his throat allowed for an inhuman keen to escape from his mouth as he hit the floor and then the floodgates opened up. He felt tears flowing from his face. He pounded the floor in sheer frustration and anger. He didn’t give a fuck who heard him. He was fucking tired of tip-toeing around everyone else’s feelings. Let them feel how he feels. He howled against the injustice of it all. He could feel the snot pouring out of his nose. He wiped it on his sleeve and tried to stem the tied of tears falling from his eyes. But it was not going to happen. He had reached the point of hysteria and didn’t want to come back from it.

Then out of the blue a set of strong hands rolled him over and cradled him. He heard a voice saying how it was going to be all right and that this too shall pass. He laughed at the idea and cried some more. He shouted his anger and pain to the heavens only to find himself being picked up gently and taken to the couch. He found his head being cradled and a song in German was being sung softly to him as if he were a child. He cried until he had no more tears. His nose hurt and his throat was raw. He finally came back to the study all his anger and pain had been washed away. He was finally able to focus on the voice that had been there with him. A face came into shape and he found himself looking into the blue eyes of the man he called once called friend.
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Author's Note: This is just a drabble that had been rattling around in my head. No real spoilers for anything but it is a crossover piece of fic.

Charles had been out drinking. It had been a challenge from Basil St. John and he didn’t want to look like a wuss. Raven had departed early in disgust at the male posturing that had been going on in the pub. She warned Charles that he’d better sober up before coming home or she was going to make him sleep it off on the quad. Charles figured he could change her mind about it one way or another. But she had taken the bloody key with her so he couldn’t get into the rooms without her help.

He stood up and steadied himself to leave when he found himself confronted by a very strange man with two pints in his hands.

“Charles Xavier?”

Charles nodded.

The man put the pints down and held out his hand “I’m Dr. John Smith. It is a great pleasure to meet you. Care for a pint?”

Charles weighed his choices. Refuse a pint and be rather impolite or sit down with this obvious lunatic. He sat back down and shook the man’s hand politely. And his mind went to a very strange place. All of the sudden the man became many men but the same man. He saw a grandfather, a tramp, a dandy, a bohemian, a cricket player, a fool in his motley, a man who would be Merlin, a Victorian gentleman, a thug, and the on coming storm. And a word kept coming through Time Lord. Dr. Smith broke the connection and apologized “Sorry about that. Forgot how strong a telepath you are.”

Charles was stunned. This man knew what he was. How? He had been so careful.

“Here’s a pint. Drink up my good man.”

Charles mechanically reached for the glass and took a long sip. He looked carefully at the man. He could disappear into a crowd without out really a by your leave even for his slightly eccentric dress. Bow ties had gone out of style a while ago. But the jacket was a very nice tweed jobbies. Charles gave a tentative push at the man who thought right back to him

‘ah-ah. Very naughty trying to pick through my brain. Believe me it is not a place you would care to be.’

‘So why are you here?’ Charles thought back ‘Why me?’

‘Because Charles you are important to the future or rather if you continue the path you are on, you will be. And I like to meet people before they come into their own. They seem more….real.’

Charles tried to shake the booze from his brain and make sure he wasn’t just passed out in the streets somewhere.

‘No I’m here and you are here. Want me to walk you home?’

Charles finished the pint and tried to stand up only to find his legs rather useless. He saw a very sad expression pass over the Doctor’s face and saw himself sitting in a wheelchair talking to the US Senate about Mutation.

“Up you get” said the Doctor and he helped Charles to his feet. Charles used the man for support to get out of the emptying bar. Touching him released a cascade of images that made little to no sense. Then the Doctor just shut him down.

“Now Charles, we don’t want to be impolite do we? No poking around in my head without permission.”

Charles nodded and the two men lurched off to his college. They snuck by the staff with very little problem. A gentle push from Charles and they were looking the other direction. They made it all the way up to Charles’ room and got to the door.

“Oh Damn” said Charles.

“What’s wrong?” asked the Doctor.

“My sister has the key and she threatened to make me sleep on the quad if I showed up…”

“Like this?”

Charles gave a drunken nod.

The Doctor grinned a disarming grin “I have a solution.”

“Lock pick?”

“Sonic Screwdriver” and the Doctor pulled a strange looking cylindrical devise out of his pocket and hit a button. There was a high pitch hum and Charles heard the lock turn to open.

“That’s rather handy.”

“I know. Can’t go any where without it.” He stood there in a moments thought and said, “Charles, I want to tell you something that is rather important or will be down the road I think. Don’t give up. You will find yourself in some rather tricky situations but how you respond to them will make you the man I believe you will be.”

“You are such a strange little man.” Then an image came into Charles’ head without his trying and he knew that the man standing next to him was not a man but something so alien he had a hard time grasping the concept.

The Doctor looked at him, “Let’s get you to bed Charles. I’ll be awfully surprise if you remember any of this in the morning.”

Charles let the alien lead him to his bedroom and help him take off his shoes before he passed out.

The Doctor looked at the sleeping man and thought about what he would become. “Good luck Charles Francis Xavier. You are going to need quite a bit of it.”

He stepped out of Charles’ room and relocked the door with his sonic screwdriver. He walked across the quad and into a Blue Box that he had in the shadows. The Blue Box made some strange sounds and vanished into nothingness.

The next day Charles woke up with a hangover that he dubbed one of the big ones. Raven wanted to know how he had gotten in since she had locked the door. Charles couldn’t remember except some very strange images that were things of nightmares and a man who stood between humanity and those who would destroy it.
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Behind the cut is the text for this story that I have put out here in 5 parts.

Enjoy and commentary is seriously appreciated.

Out_Of_Body_Out_Of_Mind )
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Author's note: This is the conclusion to this story. This has been written and rewritten a couple of times now but I decided to just put it out here. I am not entirely happy with it but if I keep futzing with it, I'll never post it. I do hope that you like it and feel free to give me some feed back. I think this was the case of a good idea but not enough plot to support it.

conclusion )
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Hank McCoy was adjusting. In some ways his change was a good thing. The conclusion to a process that his body was already doing to him. He enjoyed the heighten senses, the strength, the speed but the appearance was that of his nickname, Beast. He also found that he could go with a lot less sleep which he considered a big plus so he had more time to work.

But there were times that the body wanted to run and he just had to give into the urge or he knew he wouldn’t get anything else done. He also knew that after the run, as he called it, he was going to go to sleep for a couple of hours so he planned that in as well.

What he didn’t plan on was finding the Professor slumped in his chair with an empty scotch glass on the ground next to him.

Hank sniffed and smelled the alcohol on Charles’ breath and his skin.

“Charles” he thought carefully “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

No response. Hank checked and he was breathing but very cold having been out in the very crisp night air of November. Hank sniffed. He could smell snow coming. Charles didn’t even have a blanket. He made a snuffling noise and picked the Professor up. He carried him in carefully to his bedroom, put him on his bed, removed his shoes and covered him with a quilt that was at the end of the bed. He went back out, brought the chair in and took it to Charles’ bedroom so Charles could get into it when he woke up.

‘Or sobers up’ thought Hank as he went off on his run.

Charles came back to the patio to find his body not there. He figured out pretty quick where it was and went to his bedroom. He looked at himself lying there. Totally helpless. He felt a headache coming on and figured that the alcohol he had consumed had caught up with him. He wished his projection could bring him a couple of aspirin and a glass of water but that would be too much to ask. He reluctantly re-entered his body and went to sleep.

And awoke with a wanging bad headache. He had been hung-over before but whatever he did last night was up there in bad hangovers. He got into his chair and went to the bathroom where he took a couple of aspirin and gulped a couple of glasses of water. He thought about whether he should get up or go back to bed. The headache won. He maneuvered his way back to bed and went back to sleep.

He woke up a couple of hours later with the headache down to a dull roar but his stomach protesting the lack of food. Looking outside he figured it for about noon. His watch confirmed his suspicions. He got into the chair again went to his dresser and grabbed a t-shirt, underwear and sweatpants. No need to really be formal today. He went to the bathroom and took a long shower. He had to compliment Hank, this was the easiest he had had it to take care of himself rather than someone taking care of him. The shower seemed to take some of the sting out of his headache but his stomach was doing flip flops and wanted food.

He wheeled himself into the kitchen to find Alex and Sean at the table. They both looked at him and he could read the concern. He probed a little further and found out how he had gotten to bed. They thought that he had passed out drunk on the patio. Charles almost chuckled out loud.

Alex stood up and asked “So what do you want for breakfast or lunch or brunch?”

Sean piped up “Alex is a really good cook. He’s been cooking for all of us while you were gone.”

Charles thought and said, “How about eggs over easy with some dry toast.”

“Coffee or tea?” asked Alex.

“Coffee please” said Charles. He caught a stray thought from Sean. He was worried about Charles and his drinking. Charles probed a little further to find out that Sean’s father had a serious drinking problem and Sean had to take care of him after his mother left the two of them. And Sean was afraid he was seeing this happen all over again.

There wasn’t much Charles could say so he went to the half truth again. “I apparently made a right fool of myself last night. The last thing I remember was being out on the patio. The next thing I was in my bed.”

“Hank found you” said Sean “out on the patio. Passed out.”

“I’m sorry. I’m suppose to be the adult of the group and I apparently failed at that too.”

Alex put the plate of eggs and toast in front of him “Don’t worry about it. It’s been a little rough on all of us.”

“Where is Hank?”

“Either still taking a cat nap or back in the lab working on Cerebro. He almost has it done.”

Charles wolfed down the food all the while giving Alex compliments for getting the eggs just so. He then wheeled himself to the lab that Hank had set up.

Hank had climbed half way up the wall to get to some wires he had run to the dish into the room through a window.

“The boys tell me that you found me last night.”

Hank hopped down and wiped his hands on a rag. “Yep. Charles…” he really didn’t know how to broach the subject.

“Look. I’ll be honest. My drinking got out of hand last night. I drank for the wrong reasons. I’ll admit that.”

“Charles, it’s part of a bigger issue. Drinking is always part of a bigger issue. And right now you seem to have the entire subscription.”

“Now who is the telepath?”

“Since I have…changed…things are heighten for me. And you are presenting one thing but I am seeing another and…”his voice trailed off.

“It’s OK Hank. I understand what you are trying to say.” And with a thought he removed the doubt from Hank’s mind. For good measure he removed his actions last night from all three of their heads.

Hank shook his head a bit and said “What were we talking about?”

“Cerebro?”

“Ah, it’s done except for you to test it.”

“Shall we?”

Hank got Charles set up under the headpiece. Charles settled back in his chair and waited for Hank to flip the switch. Then he felt his mind expand out and over the planet. This was something he could still do and be good at it in or out of the chair. He made note of mutants that he saw and then he cast about to find… and there it was that void that he recognized. He made a mental note of where the void was and went on. Then everything went back to the room.

“Hank! Why did you turn it off? I was just getting started.”

“Professor, it’s almost 8 pm. You have been in there for 7 hours. I need a break even if you don’t”

Hank and Charles went to the kitchen where there were two covered dishes and a bottle of red wine waiting for them with a note

Figured you’d be hungry when you surfaced. Sean and I went into town to get some supplies.-Alex

As they sat down to the slightly warm chicken cacciatore, Alex and Sean came in from the garage with various bags.

Charles enjoyed listening to the banter and he had to admit Sean was right Alex was an excellent cook. He drank the wine but was careful about it. He had other things he wanted to do tonight and needed a clear head to do it. He left the boys still talking and wheeled himself to his bedroom.

He settled into bed and started relaxing his mind. He wanted to have a conversation with someone and now he knew where he was. What he didn’t know was this was a long step off a very short pier.
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Author Note: I ask the reader to remember the time that this is taking place. This was way before the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed. People in wheelchairs weren't accommodated. They were expected to suck it up and deal with it.

Charles was starting to think this was not a good idea. Coming into town was now feeling like a really bad idea. A spectacularly bad idea. He really hadn’t thought it through.

First they had trouble finding parking that would allow Charles enough room to get into the wheelchair. Then there was the problem of getting into a restaurant itself. He hadn’t realized how many places he liked had steep steps either up or down. They finally settled on an Italian place that Charles had been going to for years. Charles remembered that there was really only a stoop to get over rather than stairs.

“Charles, what the hell happened?” asked Leon one of the owners and the bartender when they needed one as Alex wheeled him in.

Charles gave several thoughts a quick pass. And he settled on a version of the truth.

“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and …” he said.

He stopped short as Lulu, Leon’s wife, came out of the kitchen with a tray of food, saw Charles in the chair and nearly dropped the tray. She composed herself quickly and said, “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” She went into the dining room and passed the food off to the family waiting for it quickly. She checked on them and then came back into the bar area.

“What happened?” she asked pointing accusingly at the wheelchair. “No wait a minute. Let’s get you settled in and then you can tell us what you have been up to Mr. Professor.”

She pointed at Sean “You there. Give me a hand.”

Sean helped her pulled a table forward a bit from the window next to the bar area allowing Charles to move around to the back of it and then they slid the table back in. Except for his seat back, he looked like he was sitting in a chair. Alex and Sean sat on either side of Charles at the table.

“She likes to take charge” Sean said under his breath.

“Always has” said Charles with a bit of a laugh.

They shortly found themselves with a pitcher of beer for Alex and Charles and a pitcher of soda for Sean along with some killer garlic bread.

Charles took a deep sip of the ale and sighed. He almost felt normal. Except the looks people kept giving him. They were just glances but to a telepath they felt like stares. People wondering what happened to him and then there was that pity again. He stuffed his rage and frustration into the back of his head.

Lulu sat down with them and said “OK Charles what happened? And you know I know if you are lying.”

Charles knew that Lulu wasn’t a telepath but he did suspect that she was a bit of an empath so he knew his decision to keep it close to the truth was a good one.

“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got shot in the back” he said succinctly.

“So this isn’t temporary?” she asked waving vaguely at the chair.

“No. It seems rather permanent” said Charles. “I just got back from a rehab hospital today.”

“And let me guess, the food was horrible so you came here to have a good meal again” said Lulu with a laugh “Ok we’ll feed you well.”

Charles relaxed just a bit and finished up his pint of beer. Alex poured him another one and the three of them and Leon with Lulu occasionally chiming in had some good conversation and some great food. He felt almost normal again until he realized that he needed to relieve his bladder.

They pulled the table out and he wheeled himself to the small restroom towards the back of the bar area. First problem was that the door pulled out. Then once he was in there, there was no way for him to get from the chair to the toilet. The urinal wasn’t going to be of much use either. Mortified beyond belief but needing to piss like a race horse, he put his two left fingers to his temple, ‘Alex, I need you.’

‘?’ was the response but in a short time Alex managed to squeeze himself behind Charles’ chair. He quickly saw the problem. “What if I held you up so you could use the urinal or do you want me to see if I can get around to help you to the toliet? Man this space is really small.”

“I don’t think they have many wheelchairs in here” said Charles pushing down the rage that was building within him. It just wasn’t bloody fair. He couldn’t even go to out to eat without it becoming a series of problems he had to overcome. He was tired of having to overcome everything. “Let’s try it your way.”

Alex put his arms under Charles’ armpits and clasped his hands in front. He pulled Charles to his “feet” allowing Charles to do his business. They were almost done when someone else tried to come into the restroom but saw that there was no room and they backed out. Charles didn’t like the thoughts coming from their head and he found himself contemplating the idea of making them wet themselves. Alex pulled Charles’ wheelchair back out of the restroom and back to the table.

They resituated themselves and finished up the meal. Alex and Sean were arguing baseball. Charles just sat back and drank and seethed at the unfairness of it all. The food which had tasted so good now felt like ash in his mouth. All he could see was the people looking at the cripple. And the pity, the fucking pity which just rolled his direction just made him more angry.

But he put his game face on and was his usual witty and polite self. A number of the patrons were people he knew from the various businesses in town. He found himself repeating ‘shot in the back’ and ‘not much hope’ so many times. And if one more person said there is always hope, he was going to lose it.

Finally he had enough “Alex, Sean, I think it is time to get back home. Don’t you?”

Sean opened his mouth in protest but got a kick from Alex. Charles paid up their tab and they went back to the mansion. Alex wheeled Charles back to the study where Charles switched back to the chair that Hank made.

“Good night Alex” he said with a little mental push to get the boy out of the study.

He went to the sideboard and poured himself a scotch. ‘Probably not at good idea on top of the beer but I don’t care at this point.’ He found himself pouring another one in pretty short order. ‘Stop. This isn’t going to get you anywhere’ he thought to himself.

He wheeled himself out onto the patio and looked at the grounds bathed in moonlight. He loved walking out on nights like this. He took a deep breath and let it out again. He found himself standing next to himself in the chair. He looked at himself just sitting there. The scotch glass had fallen from his hand when he had projected himself. He imagined himself barefoot and ran across the lawn and wondered why he should ever go back to that useless husk of a body.
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Author Note: I am going to start putting these behind a cut because I am going some rather disturbing places with Charles. I know it's my journal and the like but I don't want to cause someone browsing any consternation.

About this story. I have most of it worked out in my head. I do know the ending but I am letting the middle fill to tell the story that is in my head. This part takes place the day that Charles comes back to the mansion and starts to deal with the rest of his life.

It is PG currently but it is going to be going to an R pretty soon so be forewarned.

This chapter had Charles, Moria, Alex, Hank and Sean in it. Eventually Erik will appear but it will be a little while.


The-Ghost_Of_Professor_X_Part_2 )
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Author Note: I am not sure how long this one is going to be. I will warn that there is going to be drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and self abuse within the story along with some strong language. So here is the first part

He remembered the first time it happened. It was in college. He was the youngster of the group but they accepted him because he was so damn helpful to have around at test time. It was a party that had a lot of free flowing drinks and drugs. This cute girl with amazing green eyes came to him with what looked like a sugar cube and offered it to him.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“LSD. It’s all the rage now,” she answered. He looked at her eyes which were dilated and looked a little crazed.

“Are you tripping now?”

“Yeah, wanna join me.”

He shrugged and popped the cube in his mouth letting it dissolve. He sat back in the beanbag chair with the green-eyed girl draped over him. They kissed a bit and fool around a bit. He wondered when it would kick in.

She whispered in his ear “I’ll be back. I have to go visit the powder room.” And then she giggled and got up.

Then it happened. He found himself looking at himself from above. He looked at his hands which were there and not there. For a second he wondered if he had died but he could see himself breathing.

‘I am seriously tripping’ he thought. ‘And I really need to get a hair cut.’ He wandered around the party for a while. Doors had no meaning when you are a spirit. He became very educated about various aspects of sex that evening. He was having a good time when he heard his name being shouted in his ear.

“Charles! Hey Charles! You OK man?”

He turned to see no one there but the shouting increased in volume and tempo. Then a ringing slap brought him right back to reality. His eyes opened to the relief of everyone around him.

“Dude,” said one guy, “Dude that was not cool.”

“What happened Charles?” asked his bio-chem lab partner who had invited him to tag along with him to the party. “You tripping there?”

“I was,” said Charles with a bit of a petulant tone, “Not now.”

“You scared the shit out of me,” said the green-eyed girl. “I thought I had killed you.”

Charles put two fingers to his temple and said, “Kelly, I’m fine. You didn’t kill me. It was kind of fun.”

Kelly said “Yeah it was kinda fun wasn’t it.” She flopped back into his lap and said “Just don’t scare me like that.” And she kissed him.

Later that night Charles got to try out some of the new things he learned from his wanderings on Kelly who seemed very pleased with it.

He dropped acid a couple of more time, and did it with Kelly a few more, before he realized that he didn’t need the acid to let his mind wander as it were. It was just another manifestation of his mutation. And with some practice, he could do it on his own.

One night in the hospital after a rather grueling day of physical therapy, he sat in his chair looking out the window at people walking across the hospital grounds. He rubbed his hands over his legs. The non-sensation was still weird to him. He wondered if he would every get use to it. He was getting anxious to get out of this hospital and back to his life or what was left of it.

He found himself sitting and drifting a bit and then he found himself standing next to his chair. Standing next to his chair! The joy and relief were short lived when he glanced at the chair and found himself still sitting in it but kind of slumped.

‘Ah,’ he thought. But then he took a step and it felt good. So he took another and started walking around his room. He knew that this was his mind at work but he didn’t care. He was walking. He wandered out of his room and walked around the hospital and the grounds. He ran across the grounds reveling in it. He laughed.

Then he heard the voice in his ear, “Professor, are you alright? Professor. Sullivan, go get the Doctor on call, I think he might have had some form of a stroke.”

Charles snapped back to his body and opened his eyes, “I’m fine” he said rather crisply.

The nurse jumped at the sound of his voice. “Oh thank god” she said. “I was rather worried about you. For a second there I thought…” her voice trailed off but her thoughts did not ‘you had died’ came the tail end to Charles’ brain.

“No, I must have drifted off. I have been told I can be difficult to wake when I am really asleep” said Charles with his most disarming smile.

But this time it didn’t work. He found himself under going a battery of tests to make sure that he didn’t have any blood clots or strokes or seizures. It pushed back his rehab and kept him in the hospital longer than he expected to be. Charles was frustrated with the whole thing but kept it to himself because he knew that he had a way to regain in some part what he lost.
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