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[personal profile] cxellover
The prompt from1st class kink Erik and Charles go through a truly horrific experience together (Captured together, tortured, whatever - up to you!) and are so traumatised by the memories that Charles can't bear Erik's suffering and wipes Erik's memory of the event. The only problem is that he can't do the same thing to his own memories and is stuck, with no-one who knows what they went through. Cue angst!

of course, Erik is bound to find out =D

can be AU with no beach scene or not, the erasure of memories can be with erik's consent or not, but I really want him to find out eventually. Whether he is furious or not is up to you.


I am putting this one behind the cut. With major warnings for non-consensual sex, torture, drug use, alcohol use and abuse, and very rough sex. This one is very dark and very fucked up.



Erik didn’t know how long they had been there. Time had stretched in several directions. He touched Charles in the dark and felt his hand come away wet. He heard Charles moan in pain. His head hurt and his heart hurt even more. He had caused this to Charles and he would never forget what they made him do.

It had been a routine contact like they had been doing for a couple of months. Charles and he went to Helen Georgia to find a mutant and see if they could convince them to come with them. Erik had been a little weird out by the town itself. It looked like a Bavarian Village that was more suited for Germany or the Alps rather than the north Georgia Mountains. He found himself speaking German more than he was speaking English in the town. They had tracked down the mutant but then everything had gone wrong.

They were tranquilized as they got onto the porch. Erik didn’t have his guard up so he didn’t feel the metal until it penetrated his skin. As he fell he saw the shocked and bewildered look on Charles face and then everything went black.

When he came to, he was bound to a table by leather. The table was wood with wooden dowels for pegs. There was no metal near enough to grasp with his mind. Around his neck was a leather collar. He pulled his head up and started choking on the pressure from the collar.

He heard in German “I don’t suggest you try that again Mr. Lensherr. We know you too well and what you are capable of. Our orders are to break the telepath but you are a bonus prize.”

The voice sounded so familiar. Erik attached it to pain and to Schmitt. His mind was thrown back to the camps and a particular sadistic individual who had helped Schmitt break Erik. When the face came into focus, Erik took in a sharp breath. It was him.

“Now Erik. Here is what is going to happen. You are going to help us or your friend dies. You try any tricks and your friend dies. Do what we want and you will be rewarded.”

He felt a glass needle prick his skin and something being pumped into his system. A feeling of calm and bliss went with the drug going through his system. He felt relaxed and almost happy. He laughed a very throaty laugh. They left him alone in his euphoria. But the euphoria didn’t last that long and the quick agonies of withdrawal were painful. They kept getting him high and then letting him crash. He got to the point where he would do anything for that feeling. He begged and pleaded with them to make it better.

“So Erik, we need your help with a guest of ours. You do what we want and we’ll make it feel better.”

Erik nodded and they tilted his table up so he could see a TV monitor. There was a man naked wearing a leather hood being forced to bend over what seems to be a pommel horse. There were manacles at the base of the horse. Metal. He could feel it and almost taste it. His power hummed inside him.

“Bind him tightly please.”

Erik complied with a thought. He heard a stifled moan from the hooded man as he took the manacles and twisted them tightly around the man’s wrists and ankles. The man struggled but to no avail. He wasn’t going anywhere.

The guard held up the needle and said, “You kept your part of the bargain but to earn your candy, you need to watch what is happening. Turn away and we will never help you again.”

Erik watched the needle go into his arm and bliss surround his body. He would be a good boy and watch what they wanted him to watch.

They opened a curtain for him so he could see into the room that he had seen on the monitor. He could see the man struggling against the metal bonds and he pulled the chains tighter. The hooded man groaned and went limp. The initial fight seem to have gone out of him.

There were four men in the room. They were all wearing uniforms that were all too familiar to Erik. He tried to focus on the faces but the sweet drug made it hard to think or even move much.

“So,” said one of the goons, “ have you given any thought to our offer?”

The man made a strangled sound like he was trying to talk through a gag.

The goon nodded to another one of the men who was behind the bound man. He picked up a cane from the corner and turned to the man. He laid the cane lightly on his buttocks just so the man could feel the weight and temperament of it. He then swung back and lashed the cane across the lower buttocks of the man. There was a strangled scream from the hood and the man started to struggle again. The cane was placed carefully and precisely across the man’s back side and legs. The sound was like a bullet crack each time with a cry of pain to follow. When the cries stopped the goon watching the hood man carefully put up his hand and the cane ceased it blows.

They splashed a bucket of water over the man which washed away some of the blood from the caning. His head pulled up and there was another strangled scream.

The goon in front nodded, “This is not good Herr Doctor. We need you here for this to work.”

Erik’s mind tried to work. Herr Doctor? He couldn’t put the pieces together. They gave him another dose and his mind slipped back to watching the scene in front of him.

The front goon said “Heinz, your turn with this piece of filth.”

Heinz grinned a big grin and from his belt pulled a quirt with metal tips at the ends of the split. He proceeded to beat the man’s back to a bloody mess with typical German efficiency only stopping to revive the man several times.

Creeping in to Erik’s brain was a feeling of dread and fear. He could hear someone whispering in his ear, ‘Hold it together. Must hold it together.”

The two goons that had been sitting on the bench started rubbing their genitals and grinning like loons.

The watcher goon motioned to the men on the bench. One unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out rubbing it making it hard and long. He stood behind the man and placed his cock on the man’s bloody ass. The man tried to jerk away but the goon spread his ass checks with one hand while guiding his cock to the man’s asshole with the other. He thrust and missed once because the man managed to shift out of the way. The goon in front slapped the side of the man’s hood. And the goon be behind thrust his way violently.

Erik heard the whispering in his head get a little louder “No. Nonononononoo!” came the frantic thought. Erik could feel the pain that the man was feeling all of the sudden and he cried out in response. The needle pierced his arm again and the voice went to the back of his head but it was still there.

He watched the man being fucked hard from behind. There was struggle now and more muffled cries of pain from the hood.

The other goon who had been playing with himself walked to the front of the man as the watching goon loosened the hood. They rolled it up exposing the man’s mouth and chin. The mouth had a gag in it that was removed. The hooded man screamed his fear and terror. Pleading and begging to make it stop please make it stop. But they did not relent. The goon grabbed the man’s head and stopped his pleas by shoving his cock in the man’s mouth. The watching goon purred, “You better be good my friend. If he feels any teeth, we’ll knock them out for you.” The man seemed to go limp and give in to the violation from both sides. There were occasional moans and grunts as they went about their task. The first two finished up to their climax and switched out with the other two.

The watcher goon said, “I want to see your tears Herr Doctor.” And he removed the hood before starting on the man’s mouth again. The last goon started fucking the man while slapping his ass hard causing whimpers of pain to emerge from the man’s throat.

Erik looked almost clinically at the scene. They had shaved the man’s head. There were nicks and cuts all over the dome. He had not lost his hair willingly. Then a feeling of terror filled his stomach and all the euphoria slipped away. He realized that the man they had strapped to the horse was Charles. He started to grip the metal that was binding Charles when he felt another glass needle in his arm and all went to black.

Erik tried to comfort Charles in the dark. He had to be so careful in touching the man since the goons had done quite a number on his back and legs. Charles whimpered at his touch but didn’t pull away. Erik started talking softly to Charles. Telling him that things would be all right. That they had been through worse, which he figured they both knew was a lie but right now he was trying to make Charles feel better. Hr did everything he could to project good thoughts and feelings to Charles in hopes that some of it got through. He felt Charles slip into a deep sleep and figured that was the best place for him right now. Erik felt around for some metal. Any metal that he could use to get them out of there. There was some but it was very far away and he was not in any shape to pull it to him. He settled next to Charles on the cold stone floor and plotted the demise of the men who had done this to them.

He awoke feeling that familiar feeling of Charles just inside his head.

‘Charles?’ he tentatively thought.

He didn’t get a thought but rather a feeling of comfort. Whatever they had done to Charles had turned his powers from telepath to empathy.

Charles said quietly out loud, “Can’t think straight. Must have doses us with some drug. Head feels like I have been through a bottle of scotch or two.”

Erik replied, “Can you move?”

“Barely. Is there a way out?”

“Not yet. But soon I hope.”

He heard a dry chuckle from the man next to him “Hope. Funny word coming from you in this situation.”

Then a bright shaft of sunlight cut into the room from overhead. Both men gasped and covered their eyes from the sudden brightness in the room. There wasn’t much to see. It was a round stone room with a large wooden door. Erik took it for some sort of storage room. He looked at Charles who was trying to sit up without sitting on his marked body which was impossible. He then realized that both of them were naked.

“Damn” said Charles “They took my Rolex. I really like that watch.”

Erik had to laugh at the ludicrousness of that statement. Here they are at the mercy of some madmen and Charles is worried about his watch?

“Good” came a voice through at the door. “You are awake so we can begin again.”

The two men heard the hiss of gas and quickly fell unconscious. Erik’s last thought was of Charles and how he had to get him out of there by any means necessary.

Erik came to and found himself tied to a chair by leather bindings that were quite secure. He found himself looking at Charles bound to the pommel horse again but this time there was no metal only wood, rope and leather. The goons were also wearing no metal. They didn’t even have it in their teeth. There was nothing for him to grab onto. They had brought him into the room that he had watched them torture Charles in. He tried to calm the panic that was coming into his mind but it was hard to put two thoughts together. Charles picked up his head and looked at him with dull eyes. They had drugged him to the gills apparently and gagged him again.

“We are going to try something a little different today gentleman. I am going to give Erik a choice and, depending on how good a boy he is, that will decide what happens to the Herr Doctor today” said the head goon. Erik’s memory popped the name Hans to the face. Hans was a nasty piece of work indeed. He got off on the pain of others in such a way that now the only way he could get off was causing pain. Heinz was there again. The other two goons he didn’t recognize but they were about his age so they were probably just starting in the camps when the Allies freed them.

Hans took a riding crop and placed the tip on Erik’s knee. “This is simple Erik. You do what we want with your friend here and we won’t. You can spare him some pain but not all pain or we will step in and do it ourselves. You remember how to play this game don’t you?”

Erik shuttered at the thought. In the camp, he had been worked over by other prisoners who’s lives have been forfeit if they didn’t hurt him. They had tried to make him participate but he managed to avoid the very thing they were going to force him to do now. Then from inside his mind he heard a very faint voice ‘don’t worry about me. Save yourself.’ He looked at Charles who was looking back at him with vacant blue eyes but with something there that had not been before.

“So Erik, are you going to cooperate?”

He nodded slightly. “Good boy. You didn’t want to know what was going to happen to your friend if you didn’t. Herr Schmidt just wants the telepath alive but he didn’t say in how many pieces.”

Erik shuttered slightly at the thoughts running through his head.

First they shot him up but this time the drug didn’t send him to a happy place, it just made it that much harder to focus on anything. Then they put a leather choke collar around his neck before releasing his arms and legs. They made sure he knew that they could choke the life out of him in a minute. They did the same to Charles.

“Now I think we should pick up where we left off” said Hans and he handed Erik the riding crop. “You know what you must do.”

Erik could see Charles bracing himself for what was to come. He took the riding crop and started the slow beating of his friend. He mentally apologized for each and every blow. He was methodical about it because he didn’t want to give them any cause to take over. He could hear and see Charles try to suppress his muffled cries but that was not to be.

“Faster” came the order and Erik complied. They had him change to various whips and floggers that re-opened wounds from the previous day and created new ones. Charles was a bloody mess when they made him stop.

They sat him back down in the chair and tied him up again. Charles weakly raised his head and looked at Erik with such sadness.

Another glass needle when into his leg and one into his arm. They shot up Charles as well. All of the sudden he had a serious erection. He tried to make it go away but he couldn’t. The goons complimented him in the most crud terms of his large cock. He had a bad feeling of what was going to happen next. They stood him up and lead him by the choke collar to Charles’ head.

“Fuck his pretty mouth Erik.”

Erik balked at the idea and was beaten for his trouble. They forced him in front of Charles again and this time he complied. He fuck Charles in the mouth as if their lives depended on it and he had a feeling it did. They then had him fuck Charles up the ass but he couldn’t come. Whatever drug it was, it kept him hard without release. He felt Charles shiver under him with fear and he could smell the terror. Eventually to his shame he came in Charles’ ass. They poured buckets of water over them and threw them back into the round stone room.

Erik cradled Charles as gently as he could. Charles was in a fetal position muttering to himself “No. No More. I promise I’ll be good. I’ll promise. Whatever you want I’ll do. Just stop please stop. Don’t make me do that! DON’T!” The mutter would turn into a crying howl as whatever was going on in Charles’ brain just took him over. Erik braced himself for the headache he knew was coming his direction. Once the fit passed or Charles passed out, Erik was never sure which is was, Erik went back to thinking how he was going to get both of them out of there with what was left of their sanity. He just had to find a way that didn’t involve their abilities.

His musings were interrupted by a new noise. He braced himself for whatever they were going to do to them next. His brain still felt fuzzy from all the drugs they had been pumping into his system.

All of the sudden he could feel metal. Lots of it coming his direction. The noises grew louder and he could hear people yelling at each other in German and English. Then he heard gunfire and more thumping. He put himself between the door and Charles. Whatever was happening, he wouldn’t let anyone hurt Charles anymore. The door burst open and he found himself facing men with metal guns. He was about to take the metal into his own mind when he heard one of the men shout into his walkie-talkie, “Agent Taggard we found them!” He kept his guard up until he saw Moria come into the room itself. He tried to stand up but failed miserably. The look on both Moria and the men’s faces told him that he looked pretty bad.

“Moria, take care of Charles” he said as he tried to stand up again. He found himself falling forward into Moria’s arms and the blackness took him.

He awoke slowly. He tried to sit up but found himself restrained. The animal part of his brain started taking over when he heard a voice say, “Erik, you are safe. You’re safe. Come on snap out of it.” He slowed his panic brain and turned his head to see Raven sitting on a plastic chair next to his bed. He wasn’t sure if she was really there or if they were making him hallucinate again. She put a hand on his and said, “No. Erik calm down. We rescued you and Charles.”

He tried to focus but it was still hard to think. He finally formed the words, “Where’s Charles?” A look of extreme sadness passed over Raven’s face. Erik could feel his stomach tighten.

“He’s…” she searched for the right words “He’s still alive.”

“I need to see him.”

Alex came into his line of vision and said “I’ll go get the Doctor for you.”

“What happened?”

“The CIA is still sorting it out. As near as we can figure someone wanted Charles and kidnapped you both. We couldn’t find you for 10 days.”

‘10 days’ thought Erik ‘an eternity it seemed’

The doctor came and checked him over. Erik wished he had Charles’ abilities because he felt like he was getting half the story from the Doctor. They finally unstrapped him and helped him sit up. He felt as weak as a kitten. Sean came in and said, “Wow. You look like you went 10 rounds with Cassius Clay and came out on the wrong end of the glove.”

“I want to see Charles” he said in a tone that would brook no argument. They got him into a wheelchair and Sean took him to see his friend.

Erik gasped at the sight of his friend lying there in a hospital bed. He looked so small and frail. Tubes all over the place and, like Erik, he had been strapped down for his own protection. Erik wasn’t even sure if his friend was there anymore. It seems more an empty shell rather than the vibrant man he knew. He took Charles’ limp hand into his and held it, thinking as hard as he could ‘It’s all right. We are safe. Charles come back to me.’ He repeated the thoughts in his head over and over until it became a chant. He fell asleep holding Charles’ hand.

He woke up in a hospital bed but they had moved him into the same room as Charles. Moria and Raven were holding vigil at Charles’ side. He could hear the boys outside the door arguing about whose turn it was to go get the next round of coffee. Moria noticed that he had woken up again.

“Erik, welcome back to the land of the living. How do you feel?”

“Better I think. How’s Charles?”

“No change. The Doctors say that they think this is self-induced because they can’t get him to come back. The suspicion is some sort of trauma. Do you remember what happened to you?”

Erik remembered too much but he didn’t want to tell Moria what had happened. He was ashamed of his actions and inactions. “They kept us pretty drugged up the whole time. I know that they knew about Charles and my abilities. They seem particularly interested in Charles for some unknown reason.”

Moria looked at him knowing that he was not telling the whole story but decided not to push the issue.

Erik tried to get to his feet but the whole world was spinning. Raven and Moria helped him to a chair and put him next to Charles. He held his friend’s hand again and thought as hard as he could “Charles, come back to me.” Charles stirred a bit but then went back to unresponsive. Raven took his other hand and said, “He saved my life and I never got to thank him for it.” She looked like she was barely holding it together. And to all of their amazement they heard a thin voice from the man they were watching, “I knew Raven. I always knew.”

Much to their amazement Charles opened his eyes and looked around carefully. Moria was out of the door like a shot getting a Doctor and informing the boys that the Professor had open his eyes.

Charles focused on Raven’s face, “Raven dear, could you give me and Erik a moment before the Doctor gets here. I want to talk to him about something. And if you could delay the boys for just a tic?”

Raven ran to the door and closed it behind her leaving the two men alone in the room.

“Erik, it’s not your fault and I am sorry to do this.”

“Do what Charles?” And he felt Charles crawling into his brain and taking bits and pieces of the last two weeks out of his mind “Charles, stop! What are you doing? STOP RIGHT NOW! I forbid this!” and he passed out.

Charles strokes Erik’s hair awkwardly with his bound hand and said, “I’m sorry Erik. But I can’t let you feel like that.” And he removed the rest of Erik’s memories about their time in captivity. He sighed and settled down to deal with the Doctors and the rest.


The hospital stay was mercifully short. They quickly got back to the task at hand. A call from Moria had them both head back to base. There was finally some news about Shaw.

“He’s in going to be in Russia,” said Moria. Erik almost grinned. This had been the closest he had come in years. Charles seemed more circumspect about the whole thing.

They went to Russia only to find Emma Frost in Shaw’s place. When they got back, Erik and Charles found that Shaw had been at their hideout and they had lost so much by not being there. Charles then took the group to his house in New York which was a little bigger than anyone but Raven had imagined.

That night at the chess board with their usual beverages of choice in hand, Erik noticed that Charles seemed a lot more tense than usual. If fact Charles had seemed out of sorts since they went to Russia and Erik was getting tired of tiptoeing around the telepath who was on a hair trigger.

“We’ll find Shaw and save the world Charles” said Erik as he put a pawn in jeopardy. Charles didn’t take the pawn but moved his rook much to Erik’s amazement.

“It’s not Shaw that is bothering me right now” said Charles.

“Then out with it” said Erik making his next move.

Charles took his knight and said “You shouldn’t have done that to Miss Frost.”

“Do what? Convince her to talk? Charles she told us that we were getting anything from her.”

Erik saw a flash of anger in Charles’ eyes and was, for a moment, rather scared.

“Not the point Erik. We shouldn’t have to resort to their tactics. We are better than that.”

“Charles sometimes I think you are the most idealist person on the planet. We know what Shaw is up to now and we can work to prevent it.”

“Far from idealist” Charles said softly as he rubbed at his wrists. Erik had noticed this new habit of Charles’ that had occurred after their rescue.

“The greater good was served because we made that woman talk or rather allowed you to use your talents so we can defend ourselves.”

Charles seemed to be getting more agitated at the conversation. Erik was concerned because Charles was not acting like Charles right now. Something was very odd and off here but Erik had only an inkling of what it was.

“Charles what’s wrong?”

“I…You…I just want….” Charles stood up and started to walk to his desk. Erik grabbed him by the wrist and Charles let out a yelp of pain and tried to pull away.

Erik didn’t let him go but stood up and pulled Charles’ sleeve back from his left wrist. It was covered in gauze and the gauze was almost bled through.

“Charles, how did this happen?” asked Erik.

Charles tried to pull away but Erik was having none of it. He unwound the gauze to see the still weeping wounds underneath. His brain was trying to process what he was seeing. Charles tried again to get away. Erik wasn’t going to let him do so.

“Charles?” asked Erik again as he looked at the pattern of the damage and a thought seem to almost come back to mind. Then a painful flash of Charles bound in metal as his command seared his brain. He let go of Charles’ hand and clutched his own head in agony. Something was there tickling at his mind and it was very bad.

“Charles what did you do?” he asked through the pain.

Charles looked down at his friend and said “What I had to. And I’ll do it again if I need to Erik.”

Erik had a moment of perfect clarity “You took my memory from me” he said very quietly with a dangerous edge to his voice, “What have you done? What did you take away from me?”

Charles looked very guilty and tried to change to his stern angry face but didn’t quite make it.

“I have a right to know” said Erik.

“No, no you don’t Erik. I am protecting you” said Charles in that world weary tone that set Erik’s teeth on edge. He was older than Charles and didn’t appreciate being treated like a child.

“Charles” he stood up to meet his friend on his level only to see Charles flinch from him. Erik went back in his mind over the past couple of weeks since he woke up in the hospital with his last memory being walking onto a porch in Helen Georgia. He realized that Charles had been flinching and in pain the whole time. Something had happened and he couldn’t remember what but Charles sure as hell did.

“This has gone on long enough Charles. You are afraid of me which is the last thing I expected to see from you. What the HELL Happened? I want my memories back and I want them bloody back now.”

Charles swayed a bit and seemed to be contemplating his next action carefully.

“I’m sorry Erik. I did it for your own good.”

“Well fucking undo whatever ‘it’ is. I have a right to know.”

“I could just get rid of this evening from your mind” Charles said almost clinically.

“Don’t you fucking dare Charles. I have a feeling that even if you do this tonight, you are just going to have to do it every night for the rest of your life. Whatever happened is too strong just to be made to go away.”

Charles nodded slightly. His whole body posture was that of a defeated man. “I suggest we sit down for this.” Both men sat in their usual chairs facing each other.

“Erik…” he started to say but Erik cut him off.

“Do it.”

Charles sighed and put two fingers to his temple and Erik’s mind exploded with images of what he seen and done. But there were things that were new to him. He could see his torture and degradation at Charles’ hand as well under the insistence of the goons that held them captive. He could see Charles using what little ability he had left to wipe Erik’s mind each time so that Erik could focus on getting them out there rather than dwelling what happened to his body. Erik pushed the table and the chess set out from between the two men and dropped on his knees in front of his friend and put his hand on Charles’ knee. He looked him in the eye and said “No one should have to bear that burden alone. Not even you my friend.”

He opened up his mind and showed Charles images of things he had seen and done in the camps that he was not proud of. He tried to show Charles that both of them were stronger than this. They were the better men in all this. He saw tears come to Charles’ eyes and then the dam broke. Charles fell into his arms and he held the man gently as the tears of regret and anger just ran down Charles’ face. He held Charles as the man howled his anger and rage at what had been done to them. After a while Charles’ quieted and sat up on the floor looking at Erik.

Erik kissed Charles on the forehead and said “I absolve you.”

Charles managed a half chuckle “I didn’t know you were a priest Erik.”

“I’m not mad at you anymore. I want to be clear on that fact. I understand what you were trying to do but…”

“But?”

Erik chose his words carefully, “Do that again and I will break you in half without a second thought.”

“Understood.”

“My memories make me who I am today. And I cannot have anything taken away from me.”

Charles nodded contritely and then he kissed Erik’s hand. Erik felt a tingle go through his body at the touch of Charles’ lips.

“Make-up Sex?” asked Charles with a few images popping up in Erik’s mind.

“I thought you would never ask” said Erik with a big grin on his face “Let the healing process begin.”

And the two men raced to the bedroom.

Date: 2011-07-04 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caligularib.livejournal.com
Great effort, really solid start to the story.

But the last chapter just unraveled for me. It's way too rushed, and unbelivable and bordeline ooc that Erik & Charles both get over their ordeal and want to have sex again that quickly. After the level of hurt you dished out (with supreme skill, might I say) the comfort needs to come slowly & organically. We stuck with you through the pain- take your time with the healing & your readers will thank you!

Date: 2011-07-04 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cxellover.livejournal.com
Fair point and I thank you for telling me so honestly.

I do agree that I rushed the end. I may go back and rewrite it at some point.

I was having some problems in the latter half of the story and just wrote myself out of it.

I hope you will continue to read and keep me honest as a writer.

Date: 2013-02-17 07:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mgilueager.livejournal.com
Can we chat? Go Here welcomemyhomecat.blogspot.com

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